To my children…

Well, this is it. I am not sure what I will write here, but I have wanted to do this for a while now, and after reading my daughters blog, I decided to do it. She thinks I am a good writer. thank you for that huni. I do like to write poetry, so I suppose I will post some of it here.

I have this fixation for some reason that I am not long for this world, but I am not sure why. Maybe it’s because I am turning 50 next month and I feel old.  Maybe its because I have outlived my mother, and for some reason that feels wrong to me. I am not afraid to die at all. Death itself does not scare me. What bothers me about it is what I will miss when I am gone. I dont want to miss anything. When my mother died, I spent several years beating myself up about the things that I still wanted to say and do – and was certain I hadn’t said or done enough of. So now I try to do it as much as I possibly can, because there will come a day that I won’t be able to anymore.  That’s where this one came from:

P.S. To my kids – when I get all weepy and sentimental on you  – maybe this will help you to understand why?

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
then call you back for  just one more

If I knew it would be the last time
I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could re-play them all my days.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I would spare the extra minute
to stop and say “I love you,”
and not assume that you KNEW it.

If I knew it would be the last time
I’d be there to share your day,
But I’m so sure you’ll have many more,
that I can let  this ONE slip away. 

For surely there’s always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
For us to say “I love you,”
And certainly there’s another chance
to say “Anything I can do?”

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get…
I’d like to say I love you
and hope you never forget.

Tomorrow’s not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,

today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved ones tight.

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll surely regret the day

That you didn’t take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned into their  last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you’ll always hold them dear

Take the time to say “Thank you,” and  “I’m sorry,”
“Please forgive me,” or “It’s okay.”
And if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll have no regrets about today.

Just so my children know – I love you!!