For Those I love Part II

This got me thinking. Yes, I am closer to the women in my family than most of the men. Women bond differently than men do, and I know all the men are closer to each other in ways we women will never understand. The same thing goes for us as well. We have bonds between us that the men will never understand.

But that doesn’t mean I should leave them out of this. So today I will talk about one of them.

He is a great addition to my family. I wouldn’t trade him for the world. He has been around for a lot longer than I care to admit, but on the other hand, he has brought so much to our family in those years that I wouldn’t want to imagine those years without him either.

He is father to my grandchildren, and what a GREAT DAD!! I am so proud of him! He has proven time and again that no matter what it takes, he will take care of my daughter, of his children, no matter the hardship to himself. I don’t think this is even a consideration for him. An outstanding father, husband, and provider.

 I first met him in ‘95. He scared me to death!! Oh my God! He was so BIG!! My daughter is so tiny! I am not a big woman at all and she is smaller than I. This guy is like a giant in my house, I’m waiting for him to duck to come in the door!

But gentle as a teddy bear. Warm, loving, and loves my daughter. You know how it is to be a parent, and have some guy standing there telling you he loves your daughter. You’re thinking to yourself, the hell you do! You don’t know what love is, you have no idea of commitment or what it means. I’m not gonna let you hurt my daughter! Yeah, all these things ran thru my mind. You bet they did.

He was persistent tho! I will spare you the details of the courtship! Suffice it to say that they were married by the end of the year, much to my surprise. I didn’t think they would do it! They called my bluff so to speak, and left me with egg on my face. One thing I have come to realize however, is that it was the best bluff I have ever had called, and he knew what he wanted and he took it. At the time I wouldn’t ever have admitted that it could be a good thing, but it was and has been for all these years.

The first years are always a little tough with any relationship. Doesn’t matter who you are, there is a learning curve. Their first 4 years were a little tough. Hell we had all taken bets they wouldn’t make it a year, (which was just terrible on our parts – us adults who thought we knew so much!) Then on February 14th, they show up at my house and hand me a Valentines Day card. Ok, this is something that my daughter doesn’t usually do, get me something for Valentines Day…. why is this year special? then I open the card. My breath catches in my throat, my pulse accelerates to about 200 bpm, and I start trembling. The front of the card says, “Happy Valentines Day, GRANDMA!” 

Suddenly, they are a family. I will have a baby in my life again. I am so excited. And worried. They are not the most stable family unit. Will this make or break them? I am so worried, I pray everyday for them to have the strength and determination to get thru it.

My son-in-law, this great big huge guy whom I have come to love like he is my own son, makes a change that to this day is still the most amazing metamorphisis I have ever seen. He was a kid when he married my daughter, and that was ok cuz my daughter was a kid too. We all knew they would do some growing up together and they did. But now…. he does an about face, and what seems like overnight, becomes a man I am so very proud of. You can see it in him. The prospect of becoming a father has had such a profound impact on him.

Kevin I am so proud of you and have been for many, many years.

Since the birth of my first grandchild, a little boy named Devin James Young, this young man has become the most amazing father and husband. I could not have asked for a better mate for my daughter, or a better father for her children. He is simply a Godsend. An Angel in disguise, a blessing that only God himself could have forseen.

They have had their ups and downs! We all do. They have weathered them all. This last December was their 13th wedding anniversary, and they now have 3 children. Devin in ‘99, Savannah in ‘02, and Pheonyx in ‘07. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me, how proud I am of him.

Kevin, you scared me in the beginning, because I thought I was going to lose another daughter. At the time, that was how it felt. I know that was wrong now, but it was how it felt.

Thank you for proving me wrong. Thank you for taking a stand against me – for standing up for who you wanted. For what you wanted. I know I didn’t make that easy to do. I tried to be as formidable as I knew how. I have no idea how well I pulled that off, but in the end it doesn’t matter. You did what was right, and I was wrong, and I am so very happy to admit that!!

I hope you know that when I tell you I love you, they are not just words. I mean it. I couldn’t love you more if you were my own son. As far as I am concerned, you are my ’son.’

Initially, we have the family we are given, and we have no choice in that. As life goes on, we chose who we add to our family. At some point, we go back to having no choice in the matter, as our children make the choices, and we have to stand back and let it happen. This is a very hard thing to do. To let go. If we are lucky, we have done our jobs to the best of our abilities and our children make good choices. I certainly must have done something right, because my children made EXCELLENT choices. All of them. I am very, very proud to call Kevin my son-in-law.

You have made my daughter happy, and that’s what I care about the most. Never mind the hiccups along the way. We all have them baby. You get over the speedbumps, and keep going. Thank you for loving my daughter, for being the father you are, for taking care of them the way you do. You are the best!!!

I love you.