This last week has been a week of tears and laughter, meetings, and travel. My father passed away on June 22, after a ‘minor’ eye surgery and it shook my family hard.
His name was/is Earnest Leon Yohn, and he was 76 years old. Unfortunately, I only knew him as an adult. I found him when I was 36, and that is a story in itself.
He and my mother split up when I was just a baby. Less than a year old, from what I can tell. My brother Mike is 14 mos younger than I, and I was told they were not together when he was born. I think that is true as I was born in Chicago, but he was born in Denver. I have no early memories of him.
When I was 36, my life was in turmoil, as my marriage was disolving and I was looking for family, someone to whom I could belong and feel loved by. I had known since I was a kid that I had an older brother and sister, and I had never met them, so I went on a hunt. I sat down one night and started calling information in Oklahoma, because that was the only place I knew to start. I had been told that Daddy was born in Enid, OK., and so I hoped to find my brother there. I had no idea what my sisters name would be then, so naturally I started with Richard Leon Yohn. I had an atlas on the table and I started with Enid, and worked my way across the state of Oklahoma, hitting every major or half major city asking the operators for my brother. Finally, the Tulsa operator found a R.L. Yohn in Miami, Ok. She gave me the number, and I called it. I got an answering machine. So I left a message something like this;
Hi. My name is Kristine Stearns,, and I am looking for a Richard Leon Yohn. If you are he, then I would like to talk to you. My dads’ name was Earnest Leon Yohn, and you would be my brother. If your dads’ name was not Ernie Yohn, then you would not be the man I am looking for and I am sorry to have bothered you. my number is ……
Then I waited. and waited. and waited some more… FINALLY…. my phone rang, and this man on the other end says “Kristine?” and I say “yes?” and he says “This is Richard, your brother.”
I cried. All we could do is talk. Oh my, we talked for about 2 1/2 hours that night. I found out that I had another brother, Terry, and another sister, Lori. I found out that my dad was still alive! I had not thought he would be. I had that stuck in my head, that he was gone, that like my Mom, he was lost to me. I was wrong. I had family!!
In the next year, I got to meet my dad, and both Linda Rose, my oldest sister, and Rick, my oldest brother. I was so happy. My sisters and Terry both live in Oregon, and Rick lives in Oklahoma, so we have not over the years been able to see each other alot, and in fact, Terry and Lori I had never met. Until this last week. I had inadvertently lost contact with Rick and Linda, and for the last few years only had contact with Dad. He wouldnt give me info to contact my other siblings. Dont know why.
Then this last weekend, Mike gets a call from a lady in Arkansas saying daddy had gone in for minor eye surgery and had a stroke after it was done. He was in a coma and not expected to live. We panicked!
We got ahold of Rick, via the Miami police dept., and had him contact Mike, who in turn got us all in contact with each other. Rick took off to Arkansas. By the time he got there, daddy was gone. They left him in that state without contacting anyone, or giving info to his friends there – because they weren’t family – for 4 days!! I was so angry!! But by then, we could do nothing. Rick took him off life support on Sunday the 22nd, and he was gone.
We left for Arkansas on monday the 23rd, and had quite the week! The funeral was in Miami, but we went to Leslie and Marshall Ar. to meet his friends, and see his home. We wanted to know where our dad lived and who he associated with. For some reason they wanted to meet us too, so it was really cool. The people he hung out with were awesome people and he made many good friends, people who really cared about him. They all had nothing but good things to say about him. It was very hard, but it was also very healing too. I am very happy that we went.
Then we left Arkansas to go to my brother Ricks house in Oklahoma. It was so good to see him again! I have not seen him since ‘95 or ‘96. it had been way too long. We also got to meet Terry and Lori. That was a trip! Terry looks so much like Mike and Dad, and Lori and I look quite a bit alike, but they all agreed that Linda and I look almost like twins. Linda was unable to make it down, but she was there in our hearts. We spent alot of time together on Thursday, and again on Friday. We are all so much alike, it is scary!! We had so much fun, even tho the reason we were all together wasnt fun. Even my Aunt Gloria, daddys sister, carries such a strong resemblance to dad that I now know what I will look like in my mid 60’s. Daddy wouldn’t have wanted us to do a bunch of crying over him, altho we did, but we had a lot of laughs as well. It was a meeting that was far too over due, and one that was welcomed by all.
It was hard to leave and it made me sad to do so, but we all have lives to get back to. We all exchanged information so we can stay in touch, and we have tentatively planned to hold family reunions every year. I have always wanted to do that but didn’t think I had enough family to have one. Now I do. My life has changed quite a bit in the last week. I lost my father, and tho I only had him for 13 years, I feel blessed and very happy to have known him at all. Had I not felt lost and alone and gone looking for family, I might not have ever known him, or my brothers and sisters that I now have. Not too many people lose a family member and gain 5 more at the same time. I am sad and happy at the same time.
Daddy, if you are looking, know we all loved you. You always wanted us all together and you finally got your wish. I only wish you had been there to see it. Then again, I’m thinking maybe you were….?
I could only wish.
